Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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