weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
