Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
