i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
