i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
