do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The air was thick with penises
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
