let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize