awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
