do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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