hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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