I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
