We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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