am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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