Non-Jews are for practice
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
