Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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