HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
