I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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