plz talk dirty to me
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
