it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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