I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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