bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
