i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
