Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
