it was like his penis was on wheels.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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