Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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