what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
where does the pee come out of this thing
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
