just come out here and I will go home with you...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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