I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
