I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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