i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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