Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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