I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
