Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
