There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
