Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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