Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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