she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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