is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
