so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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