I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
