you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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