oh god the rape fog is back!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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