apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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