I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I had to cum in my sink.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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