That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
being pregnant is like rehab
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
