You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
