It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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