Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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