More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
