You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
