ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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