i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
