There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
